She’s gone.



I took this photo this morning, you can see her ribs poking through her side.

I’m going to indulge myself this last time on this subject and then I’ll let it drop.

So, today was the day. After watching her stumble around the house and knowing it was going to get even worse I took it upon myseelf to end her suffering. This morning I got up and she was lying down on one of her pillows (which I had placed strategically throughout the house so she would always have a comfy place to lie). When she saw me she got up and made to come over. You have to picture this little thing that is barely skin and bones weakly getting up and staggering towards me, my heart just broke.

So, I gave her water and held her. I stroked her and made her purr. I even gave her more whip cream and listened to her purr loudly and she tried to get as much down as she could. I called the vet and asked what time I could bring her in. A mere hour and a half left to her all too short life. I held her some more and stroked her some more because every precious moment she had left should be filled with contentedness.

Then, I put her on the pillow for a little while. Even though her energy was all but spent there was always something so comforting in just her presence. I took the last photos I will ever take of her. Morbid? I’m not sure but, I wanted to remember every moment I had with her. She really was my precious little jewel.

Some people would say why are you getting upset, it’s just a cat and admittedly I feel a little embarassed. This little creature that took up so much of my heart, that made me smile and usually was the best part of my day.

Anyway, I wrapped her in a towel and spoke softly to her. One arm had her cradled while the other I used to steer the car and we made our way down to the Vets. The window in the waiting area was open and I held her by it as she caught a whiff of the fresh air and I scratched her neck and she was happy.

We went in one of the exam rooms, placing that little bag of bones on the table and like that it was done. It was unnaturally quick and the moment the life had gone from her small body it was apparent and the shift was made from beloved friend to lifeless thing.

I’m sad. I know eventually I’ll get myself another pet but, there will only be one Anna. She was a wonderful little old lady, my special girl and I have been blessed by every moment I had her brightening my life.